Katie Cahnmann

Superman saves the day, right? I always wondered, who was Superman and what does Superman look like? Was he the tall, brunette, yellow skinned man with the toned physique who was depicted as the man you should look out for when you’re feeling unsafe and in danger the same, person who I should look out for? The same person that would save me? Was this what Superman looked like? Maybe to some people, but my story and my Superman is a little bit different...

 

Once upon a time in my not so “fairytale-like” land, I met my Superman, but there was something different about my Superman. My Superman was a woman, and not Superwoman, but a Superman who happened to be a woman. My Superman had long gorgeous curly blonde hair with subtle highlights and darker roots, a beautiful soul, captivating eyes, and a “Carrie Bradshaw-like“ sense of style that was appreciated by everyone who was blessed with her presence. She was so dainty and delicate, but strong and fearless. A legend in her own right, Miss Cahnmann.

 

I can write a book about all of the things that she has done to make a difference in this world, the lives she has impacted, and the souls she has changed all while staying ever so gentle and humble, like a true savior. However, I won’t write a book, just a short story on how my Superman saved me.

 

I’ll take you back to a place where many would call a learning institution, but a place I considered my personal hell, high school. I felt like I was in a cruel game of hide-and-seek, with no places to hide, leaving one hell to be trapped in the next. For the longest time, I felt scared, alone, and afraid. I felt like I was all alone and didn’t have any place to turn. Then one day I see a brightly colored door, and being the curious person I was, I knocked and my life changed drastically that day. Katie (Miss Cahnmann), was not the typical “teacher-like” admin staff, nothing close to it. There was something about her that made you feel comfortable, safe, and relaxed. It didn’t take long after our first few minutes of conversation that I knew I could trust her, not only with my deepest, darkest secrets but with my life. Someone who went from being a stranger in my school to one of the most influential people in my life. When I felt trapped and like I didn’t have any place to go, her doors were always open.

 

As time passed, we became closer and I started to let her live my life through my five senses. Miss Cahnmann saw something in me when other did not. Most teachers saw a kid that didn’t care about school, his life, or others because he was never on time, but Miss C noticed when I stayed the latest. The other staff looked at me as the kid who never did homework, but Katie saw that I still aced tests and classroom curriculum. The teachers paid attention to the kid who was often in trouble, but Miss Cahnmann heard me when I cried the loudest. She noticed I had bruises but never fought. She knew I volunteered but received nothing in return.

 

Miss C. knew there was a problem. NO questions ever had to be asked, no clues had to be given, she knew. She has an intuition like no other. And without her asking me, I spilled my heart out and even though she knew, she allowed me to explain… My Truth!

 

I was often late because if I wasn’t kept up doing adult chores until 4 am, I was looking for a safer place to sleep. Often had to find my own way to school. I stayed the latest because I wanted to avoid going back to a place where no child should ever be. Katie took time outside of her normal paid hours to help me scout different safe havens, drove me to them, and helped me find the perfect one. When she was around, I was always safe and needed for nothing. Battling with my parents and school administration all the time and being constantly accused of overstepping boundaries, Miss Cahnmann always did what was in the best interest of her students.

 

My father always said, “Homework wasn’t something that was for boys, neither was college or doing anything but being in the military.” As a kid, I was punished for wanting a secondary education and time at home was spent cleaning, doing more cleaning, eating what was leftover and even more cleaning. There weren’t enough hours in the night for me to sneak away and complete homework assignments, so I tried my best to make them up in school. I figured if I did my best, teachers would notice my efforts. I was wrong. With a 1250 SAT and 28 ACT, that wasn’t enough to prove to teachers that there was more to me than what they assumed. Scared to tell my mom, Miss Cahnmann was my only hope.

 

Katie came to my rescue, creating multiple after-school programs including the school’s first LGBTQ - GSA Club) that helped students like me feel accepted and wanted.She organized school-wide events. And she supervised college tours and lead programs focused on college & career. She even exposed me to multiple careers and people I never knew existed. She gave me hope, encouraged me, and challenged me to step outside my boundaries. She always advocated for me and thanks to her I earned the opportunity to walk across the stage at graduation and accept my high school diploma. She gave me the unconditional love that I always wanted and I never had to ask for it. She knew I could do it, even before I believed I could. She has invested in and supported EVERYTHING that I’ve ever done and wanted to do. She’s my biggest fan and my best supporter. People often wondered how can this single white woman have so much love and dedication for this poor black kid? One word, Love.

 

Bruises, cuts, scratches, and burns were my involuntary jewelry. Whether it was from my drunken father or the local thugs. I knew how to take a beating yet not let it phase me. By the time I made it to school, the beatings and verbal abuse didn’t stop, but my ability to fight back did. I was so broken down and discouraged. If ears could bleed, I could fill a river. I was often made fun of, had my clothes peed on, had things thrown at me, and often I felt isolated by teachers, students, and staff.

 

As I almost went down the wrong path of physical retaliation, drugs, guns, and violence, Miss Cahnmann came to my emotional rescue. There wasn’t much she could tell me because I didn’t think she understood my fight. But the more she fought for me, I began to notice the abuse she received in return and how she handled it ever so gracefully. She always remained humble, patient, optimistic and ambitious. She taught me to be the same way. “To hell with what people say and do,” she would often say. “Be you and always stay true to who you are!” I didn’t know who I was but I knew what to do. She changed my pattern of thought and my whole mental process. The way I look at things to this day is totally different. She taught me the biggest weapon against ignorance is LOVE. “Love always prevails,” she said.

 

I often felt that there was always someone doing way worse than me, but not everyone had a Superman in their life. I was one of the lucky chosen few. I had Katie. Through her much needed help, love, support, and guidance, I learned that “To whom much is given, much is required.” Miss C changed who I was as a person. She taught me how to build healthy relationships, gave me the tools I needed to take care of myself, and taught me the importance of self-love, respect, and honor. She taught me to be a blessing to those I had the power to help and to seek help for those I couldn’t assist alone. Just as her, most times my help went unnoticed, unappreciated and sometimes unwanted. She taught me to never let that stop you and to never give up. She is always reminding me to keep fighting the good fight and experiencing the good life. It wasn’t until later that I knew what she meant and I’m so grateful.

 

Sometimes you lose hope, and just want to give up. Trust me I understand. Thoughts of suicide, self-medicating with drugs and alcohol, or just throwing in the towel at times seem to be the perfect solution. It so easy to fall into that trap, especially when your Superman comes to save the day, then leaves. My Superman came to save my life and stuck by my side ever since then. I could’ve been another statistic, but God put Miss Cahnmann, exactly where she was most needed. She saved not only my life but hundreds if not thousands of other souls seeking and needing help. That’s unconditional love, support, understanding, and motivation. She didn’t just protect me behind her shield, she was teaching me to grow and be someone else's protector and provider of the most important things in life.  And for that, she will always be a legend.

 

All stories must come to an end, but the message doesn’t, and this message is to you, Katie Cahnmann. If you are ever feeling down, questioning your purpose, feeling unsure about what you do for this world, sad, mad or angry, please remember this:

 

YOU SAVE LIVES. You were my preventative medicine; a dose no doctor could’ve prescribed me. You helped me love myself. You gave me hope and helped me believe. Without you, I wouldn’t have made it this far, and for that I will always love you and never let your legacy die. You’re not only my friend but you are my guardian angel and my Superman.

 

I Love You.

 

JG